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"I don't miss your hair ties,Stella;I miss you."The memory came to the forefront of Kelly's mind as he tided up the loft and found yet another of his girlfriend's misplaced hair ties,this time under his pillow. The second he thought he had found them all ,a new one cropped up, At least this one made since,but the under the fridge,not so much.He smiled softly as he thought of the last time she stayed the night. For some reason he still couldn't place, Stella Kidd moved out of the loft apartment they shared and into the makeshift one above Herrmann's gargage.
    "This doesn't change how I feel about you,just the opposite." But if that was true then why did she put unnecessary distance between them? Kelly thought back on his previous relationships and a tinge of the familiar hurt returned. Renee Whaley. His ex-fiancee. She told him that they would move in together when they got engaged and then it became after the wedding. The one that never happened."Our schedules are so different; it's just easier this way until after the wedding.",she told him."Besides,since YOU just had to accept Boden's off to teach at the Academy--"
    "I did that for US! So your parents wouldn't have to pay for everything and we could maybe save for a house.The classes let out at the same time you get off work,so the only time I'm unavailable is when I'm on shift,like it's always been since the beginning." She didn't have an answer & Kelly later found out through a very reliable source (namely one very nosey Leslie Elizabeth Shay) that Renee was seeing her ex-boyfriend,Dean,on the side and found out that she never left Chicago on her "very important" Midwest business trip.For 3 whole months she was shacking up with HIM, right under Kelly's nose. He shook his head and cleared those ugly thoughts away.Stella was different, Different from anyone he ever met and he felt a connection from day 1.As soon as figured her out,something wonderfully new would be discovered. From the way she liked her coffee to their shared love of crosswords,he was beyond convinced she was the answer to his every question and long withheld need and desire. Which is why her moving out scared him. It would give her time to think and come to the same conclusion as all the others before her: Kelly Severide was not worth the trouble.Seeing his own parent's marriage implode in real time made him leary of commitment,but for Stella,he would move heaven and earth just to be in her orbit.He couldn't count the times he seemingly got lost in her and he couldn't get enough. His phone buzzed from the nightstand and a smile swept over him as he read the text."Got up early so we could see each other b4 shift.Meet you at the squad table.PS. I got a new lipgloss that needs your approval.*wink emoji*"
     As he pulled into a spot behind her Jeep, Kelly saw her talking o Sylvie Brett,who seemed like a long lost sister to Stella.The friendly pair were lounging on the back of ambo 61 as Brett did inventory.Warmth washed over him as he made his was across the apron on his way the app floor. Brett saw him first and he gave her a "shhh" signal as he snuck up behind Stella.
    "All I'm saying is Gah!! Kelly!"
    "Morning ,babe!" He said playfully as he pulled her into a hug from behind and kissed her cheek.
    "Well,good morning to you too!"
    "Here. Got your favorite since I couldn't cook for you today." He handed her a bag of glazed old fashion donuts and a cup of hazelnut coffee as he joined them on the back bumper and pulled her into his lap.
    "You didn't have to do this,babe."
    "I know,but-" He shrugged wrapping his free arm around her waist,clutching his own cup in the other hand.
    "Mmm,hot." Stella mused as she took a sip.
    "Not as hot as you."
    "Whelp,inventory is done,so I'll just turn this into Chief!" Brett said as she disembarked the ambo and walked away,leaving the two alone.
    "Hey! I thought those were for me!" Stella jabbed his side as he stole a bite of donut from over her shoulder.
    "They are,but I skipped breakfast to get them for you." He replied mouth half full of sugary goodness."So what's this about a new lipgloss that needs my approval?"
    "Oh,you saw that ,did ya?" She asked, her Millwalkee accent coming in slightly. "Well,you're gonna hafta wait til I finish this donut."
    "Dammit!" He chuckled."Unless,I can help you with it."She gave him that perfect frowny smile that gave him butterflies.
    "Ok,then.Open up."She tore of a bite sized chuck and fed it to him followed by another untill the last bite was gone.
    "Mmm..."she hummed as he lightly sucked the last of the glaze off her fingers.Her face was flushed and he just had to up the ante.
    "That was good,but-" his voice dropped to a silky whisper in her ear."You always taste better."
    The call came in to an all hands on deck emergency shortly after morning briefing.A large skyscraper full of appartments and businesses was engulfed in flames on the 19th and 20th floors.Several companies from other houses were on scene as Boden took command.Grabbing equipment and joining the organized chaos,the bulk of Firehouse 51 made their way up the spiraling stairs for the actively involved floors. Squad focused on opening doors and rescuing victims,Truck working as back up as Engine tried to buy them precious time.After clearing another section,Kelly and Stella checked in as they continued their assignments. Though that brief moment where their eyes met and they grabbed onto each other's forearm didn't last,but they were grateful for each other's safety.
    Trading out air bottles and clearing the fiery floors,Squad 3 were about descend and give support other companies when their plans changed.
    "Lt,do you hear that?" Cruz asked as the voice of a small frightened boy called out below.
    "Fire Department;call out!Where are you?"
    "Down here!"
    "Don't worry,bud, we're coming to get you .Stay where you are.I'll get the boy,you head down to assist the others." Kelly dismissed Cruz as he finally found the victim.
    "Found another one,Chief. 19th floor; bringing him out now."
    "Severide ,stay put until 30 clears a path." Herrmann and Stella joined Engine 30 running a line to beat back the flames.
    "I don't like to complain,but it's getting pretty hot in here." Relieving the previous company,Herrmann checked their air levels.
    "Switch out bottles,Kidd."
    "No,I'm good. Let's get Kelly out."
    "I'm gonna bail,it's too dangerous,so I'm gonna do a self rescue."
    "Don't do anything stupid,Kelly!" She urged over the radio.If only she listened to her own advice. No longer after they repelled down to a safer floor, did disaster strike.
    "Firefighter down!" I repeat:firefighter down! It's KIdd!" Herrmann screamed into his radio fear in his voice.
    "Where are you?!" Nausating panic set in as Kelly rushed to their side." What happened?!"
    "I don't know;she just went down!" They rushed her down the stairway and to the awaiting paramedics as Kelly helped strip her gear off.
    "Got a pulse,but she's not breathing!"
    "Come on,Stella! Come on, Kidd!"Tears welled up as anxiety enveloped him. He couldn't lose her,not now,not ever... There was no question as he climbed in behind her as Boden gave a silent nod.Kelly clung to her hands as Ambo sped though traffic on route to Med.He thought about all the time they spent together,whether at home,out in public,or in stolen moments at work just for them.His heart was in his throat and his chest was painfully tight.He couldn't breathe,not without her by his side.
    The bay doors slammed open and they wheeled her into the ER.and away from him. He stood there numb,blue eyes watery with unshed tears.
    "What the Hell happened,Herrmann?! He growled as as the Engine Lt. and the rest of 51 arrived.
    "Her air ran out and she just went down! She didn't tell me because she was trying to save YOU!" Kelly's fist smashed into the wall as he stormed out out the crowed E.R. hallway and into the all too familiar wating room nearby.
    "She just went down! She was trying to save YOU!" Herrmann's words haunted him as he sat in the chair waiting with baited breath for any news.'How could he let this happen?! He's supposed to have her back!Why didn't he order her to change bottles?Why did he--just why?Why her? Why did it have to be her?' He was the one performing a self rescue with a victim.He ...He was the one she was trying to save! He didn't notice as the others filled in the rest of the room,only coming back to the present when Dr.Choi gave them an update.
    "We're going to remove her lung."
'"NO! You can't do that to her!" Thoughts of Anna's death flooded back.
    "I'm sorry,but you're not family;you don't get to make that decision."
    "But you'll take everything from her!All she ever wanted was to be a firefighter! There has to be another way!"
    The next few hours were an eternity as time crept by agonizingly slow. Most of 51 left,leaving Kelly and Herrmann holding silent vigil.
    "Here."The older Lt. pressed a cup of crappy hospital coffee into Kelly's hand and sat down beside him.The tension was thick with words spoken,not with hate,but with fear.
    "Just so you know,I told her to change bottles."
    "I know."
    "She was just so determined to get to you that--" his words trailed off as he paused to ponder what else to say.He has seen Kelly go through so much much already in his career at 51.So much pain and loss. Darden. Shay. But he knew this was a whole nother level of hurt. He recalled the hopeless feeling of being forced into neutral when your whole heart was on the line and there's nothing you can do about it. Cindy had been in labor for hours as she struggled to bring their child into the world and he never felt so beside himself.
    "Herrmann..."
    "Yeah,Severide?"
    'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You were only trying to help and I-I-I just can't lose her!" The dam broke and reduced the fearless Squad LT. to heaving sobs that shook his whole body. Herrmann held him as Kelly clung to him like a small child seeking the safety of loving parent.
    "Let it,Kelly. Let it out." He rubbed Kelly's back and after a little while the sobs subsided into quiet snores as sleep claimed them both.
    April smiled at her lifelong friend as she woke him with a gentle shake.
    "She's asking for you."He thanked her as he followed her to Stella's room. He was nervous as he pulled back the curtain with a tremoring hand.
    "I'm so glad you're back." He collapsed into the bed beside her. It really was something strange; she was the one who just had surgery on her lung and was in recovery,but with the simple act of running her fingers through his hair,she was soothing him. He leaned into her touch and cherished every minute of it. The moment was broken when Stella got her discharge insturctions and was released from Med.
    He wheeled her carefully to his waiting car ,dropped off by Casey while they slept.
    "I'm not made of glass,you know." Stella said as Kelly carried up the stairs to her apartment.
    "I'm still not willing to risk it." He smiled as as she protested lightly.
    "UGH! I seriously need a shower. I feel so gross."
    "I can help with that." He grinned.
    "Oh,I know you can,but you heard Dr.Choi: no exertion,so no sex."
    "I know,but I can still help.after all,I'm really good at washing your back."he replied as he helped her undress.She tried to hide the pain in her back as she lifted off her shirt,but Kelly saw it immediately.
    "That's my job,not yours,Stella."
    "Fine." She huffed as he finished undressing them both. "At least I get a great view to distract me." Kelly shook his head with a grin as he helped her into the shower chair.
    "Seriuosly?!" I have to use that?!" She asked as he eased her into it.
    "Yep. Just be glad your don't need a beside commode.This is only until you recover. Now which shampoo do you want?"
    "I guess I could get use to this if you do a good job,but you have to behave Kelly Severide!" She teased as she handed him her pick from the very full shelf.
    "Yes M'am! Scout's honor." He mock saluted her then resumed his task.
    "You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?"
    "Well,yeah.Wouldn't you if the tables were turned? Plus,anytime I get to put hands on you for almost any reason makes me happy. You do remember those amazing massages I love to give you, don't you? Didn't you say I missed my calling?"
    Stellla let out a yawn as the stepped out onto her new bath mat that Kelly had replaced before they left Med. It matched the traction stickers,grab bars,and hand held showerhead he bribed Casey into installing for her.
    "My bathroom looks like something out of a nursing home pamphlet!" she lamented." I don't need all this stuff!"
    "Yes, you do and think about how much fun we can have with it when you get better." He kissed her forehead as he wrapped her in a fluffy robe and scooped her into his arms.
    "Well,if you put it that way..."
    "See? I knew you'd come around. Plus, it's the least I could do since it's my fault this happened." He added as she snaked her arms around his neck and leaned into him with a lingering kiss to his neck.
    "That's dangerous territory,Stella."
    "I have no clue what you're taking about.'Sides,not your fault" she said sleepily."You're just not patient." She winced as he replaced the bandage on back. She got hurt because of him.
    "Yeah,sure,but I waited for you, didn't I? Which pj's do you want?"
    "Your t-shirt."
    "Well,duh! What else?" He asked as he stripped it off and slipped it over her head.
    "Just some undies,nothing too tempting."
    "Pretty sure that doesn't exist.How about these ones? How's the pain?"He agreed to managing her meds and without saying it,Stella was relieved. They both had addiction issues in the past and she knew Kelly would take care of her.
    "All good. When's my next dose?"
    "6am,but you should probably take you antibiotics before bed."
"Don't wanna. Those pills taste like crap,Kelly!" She was preaching to the choir.
    "I know,but I've got a tub of ice cream with your name on it if you do..."
    "Oh,yeah? Whipped cream and hot fudge,too?"
    "Anything your heart desires."
    "Including you?"
    "Absolutely including me! Why else would I sign up to wait on you hand and foot?"
    "Because you love me."
    "Damn right I do! Always.No matter what.Don't you ever forget that,ok? Promise?"
    "I promise." He was having a hard time holding back those 3 little words lately.The last person he felt comfortable enough to say them to was...Shay...,but Stella made him feel safe enough to let down his guard and let her into the carefully constructed fortress around his heart. He hadn't found that in anyone else,in fact he was convinced he'd never find that someone again. Love just wasn't in the cards for Kelly Severide,but maybe,just maybe,he was wrong in all the right ways.
     Stella relaxed as Kelly brushed out her hair as carefully as he could.He knew how much pride she took in those luscious curls and suddenly a new thought occured to him as he sorted out another section of silky tendrils. Maybe she couldn't do her hair by herself for a while,but...
    "Be right back" he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek and retrieved his phone.Smiling as he eyed the newly found hair tie on his wrist, he sent out a quick text.
"Hey,Cindy. Sorry to bother you so late,but could you teach me how to braid Stella's hair?"